Why did the apostle Paul claim to be the chief of sinners (1 TIM 1:15)? Many point to this verse for an answer:
1 CORINTHIANS 15:9
For I am the least of the apostles, who am not worthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God.
Paul remembered the words he heard from the risen Christ:
ACTS 22:7-8
7 "And I fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to me, 'Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?' 8 "So I answered, 'Who are You, Lord?' And He said to me, 'I am Jesus of Nazareth, whom you are persecuting.'
Not only was Saul of Tarsus forgiven of his sins, but his Messiah actually made him an apostle (GAL 1:1)! This is the place of grace, indeed!!
Saul was tutored under one of the greatest Jewish sages of his day, Gamaliel and trained as a Pharisee, was granted Roman citizenship, was multicultural – being well versed in Greek, Roman and Jewish literature (ACTS 17:28; 22:3; 26:5), was an intellectual giant and very well read (historical records showed the one complaint Gamaliel had about Saul was that he couldn’t keep him [supplied with enough] books).
Paul could legitimately make this boast:
PHILIPPIANS 3:5-6
5 circumcised the eighth day, of the stock of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of the Hebrews; concerning the law, a Pharisee; 6 concerning zeal, persecuting the church; concerning the righteousness, which is in the law, blameless.
And yet, he said,
PHILIPPIANS 3:7-9
7 But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. 8 Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith…
Yet for all of his religious zeal, his remarkable education, his familiarity with the world of his day, Paul had a great heart of love:
PHILIPPIANS 1:7-8
7 just as it is right for me to think this of you all, because I have you in my heart, inasmuch as both in my chains and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel, you all are partakers with me of grace. 8 For God is my witness, how greatly I long for you all with the affection of Jesus Christ.
You don’t often get the combination of powerful intellect and fervency of love in one person, but we certainly see this with apostle Paul! Of all the people we read about in the Bible, I think Paul is probably the closest example of the LORD we have – possibly tied with apostle John. I’m sure however that Paul would disregard that observation.
Paul had a heart of worship very much like Job and David. His desire for the LORD was the same as theirs:
PHILIPPIANS 3:9-10
9 and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; 10 that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death,
This apostle truly had a servant’s heart – he would go out of his way to minister to kings and officials as well as the so-called nobodies on the street. He saw human souls the way that GOD does – every one of them precious, eager to redeem each and every one of them (1 COR 9:22).
Paul was tenderhearted towards the broken and needy, being a spiritual father to so many (GAL 4:19; 1 THESS 2:7-8). Most notably his spiritual fatherhood is seen in the close bond he had with Timothy (and to a certain degree, with Titus). It was to Timothy that the apostle handed the proverbial baton when he saw that his end was near at hand (2 TIM 1:2). He committed to Timothy the commission of the Gospel not as an apostle (no apostle transferred their apostleship to another disciple) but as a pastor.
Paul was not only an apostle, a preacher, a spiritual father and prayer warrior, he was also a willing martyr, having suffered so many atrocious beatings and persecutions (2 COR 11:23-27). The care and burdens he carried for the churches was obvious (2 COR 11:28-29).
On a side note: They are well able to face a martyr’s death who have lived a martyr’s life (dying to self, that Christ may live and be seen and glorified)!
And yet as intense as his suffering was, there was that time when he experienced this “thorn in the flesh” which in the Greek translates to a “tent stake”! Can you imagine? No wonder he cried out to the LORD for deliverance – not once, or twice but three times!
2 CORINTHIANS 12:5-9
5 Of such a one I will boast; yet of myself I will not boast, except in my infirmities. 6 For though I might desire to boast, I will not be a fool; for I will speak the truth. But I refrain, lest anyone should think of me above what he sees me to be or hears from me. 7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. 8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9 And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness."
I can’t pretend to understand the intensity of that thorn, but for someone like Paul to plead for deliverance, it must have been excruciating. We would suppose that such a dutiful and devoted servant of the LORD like Paul, through whom GOD inspired about a third of the entire New Testament, that when he cried out, GOD would answer!
And actually He did answer, but not with the removing of that thorn, but with the promise of GOD’s grace to put up with it. It was because of the “abundance of revelation” given to this apostle that this “thorn” was needed. And Paul’s response?
2 CORINTHIANS 12:10
Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
“Gladly” he says… amazing grace indeed!
It’s a humiliating thing to endure suffering. We like to be strong, resilient, and capable in handling problems. When we are put in a position of suffering, or persecution we are placed there in humility. And what does Scripture say about humility?
PROVERBS 22:4
By humility and the fear of the LORD are riches and honor and life.
When our LORD puts us in a place of suffering and sorrow, it’s that He intends on being there with us (like Daniel’s three friends were accompanied by the Son of man in the fiery furnace) and there we taste of the riches of His grace (EPH 2:7; 3:8), and resurrection life (and power) on the other side of the cross and death to self, and the extreme honor of going through such trials still worshiping the LORD out of a heart of love – just like Job, and like Paul here!
Church history describes Paul as a small, bald-headed Jew with a big nose and eyes, thin frame and a somewhat nasal voice and a painful eye condition (we get a hint of this in 2 COR 10:10; GAL 4:13-15). As someone who is only 5’6, bald as well and unimpressive bodily, I can certainly relate to this as much as with his avid love for books and study!
All of this make up the reasons why I am eager to meet this man of GOD and to sit a while in the kingdom to come and have some wonderful fellowship in the LORD! And with David! And with Job! And since we have all eternity – I’ll have wonderful fellowship with all the saints mentioned in the Bible, as well as with all of you saints!
We have a few studies on The TRUTH Under FIRE examining some of Paul’s epistles, such as ROMANS, GALATIANS, EPHESIANS, 1 THESSALONIANS through TITUS (currently working on completing the study in PHILIPPIANS, then LORD willing, onto COLOSSIANS). Type in any of these book names in the TTUF search engine – I pray you will be blessed by what you find!
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